In Human Design, I am a Generator, which interestingly means I wait - receptive and open - for the world to come to me with stimuli to respond to. Until now, I thought that this was disempowering… to sit and wait and be receptive. I thought passive and receptive was disempowered. But Im starting to see that this energy I speak of is not passive, it is responsive. It is the flow of life meeting and moving through a powerful receptive vessel… ready to respond with heart to the world and create love and beauty everywhere it goes. It is beautiful!
Through out my life I have battled dichotomy of doing and being - initiating and being receptive - knowing somewhere deeply that when I initiate, it doesnt work, I meet resistance. It might be ‘successful’ but it is not satisfying. It might look like some kind of action in motion, but the energy expenditure far out weigh the fulfilment. It might feel like I finally 'did it’, but it is hollow somehow. It might also NOT be successful, but I try to push it with my mindset around ’shoulds’. So many ventures in my life have come from this energy and my soul can’t sustain it. In this fashion, I am not honouring the luminous vessel that I was born here to be.
It is said that Generators need to learn to sit inside the frustration that comes with waiting. I know this frustration so well and I usually respond by trying to MAKE things happen, pushing them up a seriously friggin steep hill. I have always thought that ‘waiting' is a failures game but now I see a different angle to it… I still do believe in ‘action’ but now I can see that my action is actually a response, that is carried with grace and universal alignment.
There have been many moments where life has shown me a gateway, a door and I have responded to it thus creating exquisite alignment and synchronicity… So many of these moments! This is where the majik sits for me… that is where I embrace life. People often tell me I am an amazing manifestor, creating ongoing amazing-ness in my life…. and I have to say, that the times that synchronicity and universal alignment has shown up, has really been when I have been energetically receptive and responsive! I didn’t realise that so clearly until now…. Almost like I hold the creation energy of a seed in my heart and my energy and then the world then meets it with something tangible and i respond to that tangible thing with my heart and my actions.
And not only am I a Generator, I am an Emotional Generator… so I have to wait for the stimuli… then wait again for my emotional response to settle before I can see clearly through something. This makes SO much sense to me. I can not Generate unless I wait out my emotional wave. I respond so sacrally, so gutturally, so emotionally to the world… and usually so emotionally impulsively... and then sometimes the next day it doesn't feel so ‘right’ anymore and I question my judgement.
So with all this in mind, I make a new commitment to myself...
- I allow myself to sit in the response field of life.
- I embrace waiting and responding as I am aligned with the magic of my soul and how it moves in this delightful life.
- I embrace this, and in this acceptance, my energies unite and collect together in a powerful pool… ready to be harnessed.
- I trust my sacral response to every stimuli that comes my way. I give my responses time and space to deepen and find clarity before I respond to the stimuli. I give myself full permission to do what is right for ME in my responses.
- I give myself full permission to trust my sacral knowing and to move from that place and no other!! I trust the unknown, so that patience can sit with me while I sit receptive to the world and it messages.
Thank you for your witness beautiful loves…