What’s it all about?
This Journey With Pleasure Is About Noticing And Embodying The Intimate Little Ecstasies That Surround Us In Everyday Life
The Pleasure Diaries are a series of poetic prose that explore the idea of pleasure in our daily lives... they are about inspiring change on a cellular level through a commitment to noticing and embodying Pleasure in Life.
I wrote The Pleasure Diaries during a trip to Bali in August 2015 as a way of retraining my brain into appreciating life, after a period of depression.
They are about inspiring people to dive in and notice the Little Intimate Ecstasies that surround us daily.
...About creating new awareness in our lives.
...About opening, surrendering and being.
...About loving ourselves intimately through it all.
They are about creating habits that support our love for ourselves, so we can move in the world from a place of overflowing love.
They are about you. About me. About ALL of us.
Ultimately... they are about Love.
The Pleasure Diaries #1
Full Body Luscious Embodiment
As a part of my pursuit of pleasure in this land of Bali, my life, my body, my being, I have decided to keep a Pleasure Diary - sharing what moves me and intricacies of my experience of pleasure. I love that by drawing our awareness to something and diving into it with gratitude and appreciation, it magnifies in front of our eyes and is enhanced in our experience of it. So pleasure central here we come!!
I have been contemplating the difference between 'enjoyment' and 'pleasure'... and for me, pleasure is a really embodied sort of enjoyment. It is like the cellular response to the stimuli reaches deeper and becomes more expansive in the places in it reaches inside me.
If I 'enjoy' the sound of a bird in the morning, it only reaches so deep, but it I take pleasure in it, MY WHOLE BODY responds. My vibrational awareness is heightened as I let the pleasure of the sounds in, and my body begins to hummmm. It feels to me that we RECEIVE pleasure and ENGAGE in enjoyment...
So this dear body of mine, is opening, to this receiving... opening to the love of the world around me through pleasure.
And so today.... my pleasure included waking warm! Waking in a climate that suits my body and luxuriating in the shift of consciousness from sleeping to waking... this tender time, where reality warps a bit and dreams come through with us for a moment... this is delightful!! And that was just the beginning of the day....
Loving you all!
The Pleasure Diaries # 2
The Hours of the Gloaming
Todays deepest pleasure was all about The Gloaming. That exquisite time of day when day meets night as dusk passes over.
This time, this Gloaming, is elegantly spacious. It holds the majik of the meeting of worlds and an opening to portals of love and vibrational alignment that aren't so available to us at other times. It is a space where time elongates, and if we take a moment to float buoyant in this opening, we can move through the silky soft edges of our cells, deep into our own being. It is here, that the subtleties of awareness move gently, as if in slow motion... delicately communicating their pathways, their experiences and their little ecstasies with us, as they touch the depth of our being.
This feeling is exquisite and tonight, as my heart opened to the softness inside my own cells, pleasure swept through. As did a deep gratitude for this elongation of love in time and my own souls willingness to receive it.
Loving you all. Deeply. Softly. Openly.
This little Pleasure Beacon had a day of ridiculous pleasure today!!
...the sweet sumptuous chorus of birds upon awaking
...the rosters that, remarkably, from this state of love, are just part of the wonder scape and not at all grating to the ears
... the languid sleep in
... the endless cups of tea on the balcony while doing some creative, inspiring play
... the soft grounded atmosphere of the tropical surrounds
... the sharp inhalation as I submerged my hot body in the cold pool
... delightful reading of "The Bride Stripped Bare" whilst reclining in the sunshine
... fingertips trailing in the waters edge, softly melting liquid pathways
... fresh papaya and lime juice nourishing my insides
... the touch of my soft dress on my skin as I wandered through the afternoon
Is so much pleasure even allowed!?
Today I discovered, that in order to be a Pleasure Beacon, to be entirely open to receiving all this pleasure, I need to look after my body. I need to care for this physical form, so that the pleasure can be all encompassing.
Things that diminish my capacity to be a Pleasure Beacon
... when I suddenly discovered I was so hungry that I couldn't think straight
... when I realised that I REALLY needed to wee - like NOW!
... when all of a sudden, The Busy of being Out and About in Ubud, got too much for this little creature and I needed to retreat to my heavenly cave
And then, once in my cave... fed, wee-ed, and peaceful.... the pleasure returned, as I immersed in a bath and nibbled on a ridiculous gluten free chocolate caramel slice!
OH MY!! So blessed!
Loving you all, my loves! And wishing you pleasure tooooo.
The Pleasure Diaries #4
The Dance of Intimacy and Surrender
Intimacy and surrender.... and how these two things dance to the heavens... is PURE pleasure.
There are times in life (speaking now about times outside the where intimacy and surrender unite to form a kind of freedom that is like no other.... A freedom that is so open, so receptive and so simultaneously full and empty. A freedom that is entirely ecstatic. Embodied. For me it is usually through dance or shibari and tonight was no exception.
Tonight we Danced. Blindfolded. Fingertips touching. We danced to the rhythm of our Felt Senses. We opened our hearts to feel each other deeply, to feel each others Real, to feel each other's Before We Put a Face On To The World. Felt sense. Love sense. Heart sense. Cicadas chirping. Water falling sweetly in the distance. Warm evening air swimming softly with love. A dance of surrender and delicate human intimacies. Unfolding. Into pure pleasure.
Loving you all!
The Pleasure Diaries #5
There is a Gremlin in My Bed
I woke up with a gremlin in my bed this morning. She visits me about once a month and my goodness she is a recalcitrant little creature! She is stubborn, ratty and can be incredibly mean... to me that is... with others she is on her best behaviour. She sticks around for a few days until the moon starts to flow and the high pressure system is released.
We have been talking about Non Violent Communication to bridge our volatile relating style and is does seem to be helping, quite a lot. She is less open to pleasure than any other part of me and the one who could do with it the most. I tried to share this with her, and she was NOT impressed.
So instead, I stayed with her in bed until she felt like getting up. I walked gently with her as she asked to move slowly through the day. We wrote lists to help us remember things and we trod gently when tears came to the surface. She really isn't so awful. She is really just misunderstood. In fact, I love her SO dearly! She really just needs a different kind of love. She needs me to offer her space to express it all. And space to be soft during the day. She needs cuddles and holding and space and independence. She needs love to envelope her.
And interestingly, through this walking softly, she found her way to a gentle kind of pleasure.
...The kind of pleasure that melts the heart from the inside out.
...The kind that nearly cries when she sees the face of the blind old Balinese man melt with appreciation when she greets him with respect in Bahasa
...The kind that sees the young school boy walking to school with a gentle bounce in his step and sweetness about his interaction with world
...The kind that loves all of her friends and wants for them to experience pleasure too
I had a dream last night in which a wild and grubby little girl came up to me and screamed at me and then grabbed some over sized scissors and chopped off my hair. I was furious, not about the hair... surprisingly i was really ok with that, more about her audacity! So I took off my nine inch healed fuck me boots... lol... and chased her into the dark slum alleyways. Chuckle... so much hilarity as I wake with that little girl, the gremlin in my bed.
Loving you ALL!
The Pleasure Diaries #6
Can We Be Authentic Through it ALL?
Today there was a spanner in the works... a tremendous amount of... well... Bali Belly. My bed has been my haven and for most of the day and the thought of this Pleasure Diary made me want to curl up in a little ball and cry even more. I have been feeling so fragile and unwell and far from Pleasure.
So Authenticity is todays pleasure - and it feels different to the others... not so silky smooth, not so soft and luscious... it is a little rough around the edges and deeply vulnerable inside. But it is Real and the Real is always a Relief.
Loving you all. Yes always!
The Pleasure Diaries #7
Living in a Sea of Contrast
As my body moves back into strength after a time of Body Crankies, it is amazing how my senses open up to receive the world again. I feel like a flower unfurling in the morning to receive the Soft Winter Sun or a cat stretching languidly after a Lazy Afternoon Nap.
Today held this kind of Gently Awakening Pleasure. It started off slowly and a little sleepy, and by the end of the day, my heart was open and relaxed enough to receive the world again. A soft pleasure. A quiet pleasure.
Abraham-Hicks says that we 'live in a sea of contrast' and I feel, at times, that pleasure opens in us due to this contrast...
...The touch of a massage is all the more divine in its nourishment because of the alleviation of the discomfort in my body
...The buckwheat toast that I ate as my First Meal Back was ridiculously delicious as my taste buds danced with its simplicity and my belly said a gracious Thank you!
... The two butterflies dancing together were even more beautiful to see, due to my Coup Up yesterday
...The Deep Gratitude I feel for my body and how it carries me in the world was amplified as i cherish its Wellness
It feels like a delicate dance, this dance of Pleasure and appreciation in ALL. Feeling the different qualities and aspects of pleasure through ALL of our states... and as a dear friend said yesterday... 'pleasure comes as we choose to let ourselves in'! So perfect, so poignant! Thank you Stacia
Loving you all SO much.
The Pleasure Diaries #8
The Stunning Simplicity of Sparkling
Todays pleasure is all about SPARKLE!! It is the kind of sparkle that rises up your spine, gives you little shivers and sends Orgasmic Pulses through your crown to the heavens above. It is the kind that makes you giggle. It is ignited and activated. It is also Stunningly Simple.
... It is the steam that wafts off my cup of tea in the morning, caressing the atmosphere with its own delight, its motion, its freedom
... It is the passionfruit hanging from the vine that is nearly the size of my Head that made me gasp!
... It is the bright vermillion red dragon fly that played with the edge of my shadow - skitting, dancing, delighting
... And the SOUND that it made as it took off each time... a clear and audible 'Click'!
And entirely pleasurable morning of delights, I must say!
It was the kind of pleasure that was Stunning to Embody. It is the kind of pleasure that is clear, sparkly, loving and open. The kind that you just know it is co-creating a magnificent reality around you!
Loving you ALL, beautiful Souls!!
The Pleasure Diaries #9
Shining, Shame Free
Through this exploration of Pleasure, I have come across an interesting phenomena. It is not knew, it is cultural, and something I feel to share about. A few days ago, a Debilitating Shame around sharing Immense Pleasure with you all washed over me. I noticed as I was coming back into brightness, that I was shying away from sharing the Really Ecstatic Pleasures with you all - and in fact a shying away from even Feeling Them Entirely - for fear that my delight may adversely effect others emotional states.
I know that when we are struggling in our world, it can be challenging to see someone shouting from the roof tops about pleasure. It can cause us to shrink away into our process a little deeper.
How could we do this differently? How could we create a different reality?
A reality where our loving relationship with ourselves in the priority. A Self Love Revolution! A reality where we KNOW how friggin amazing we are... ALL OF US!!! Where we know how entirely unique and inspiring and Deeply Divine and Wonderfully Human we all are! A reality where we are all entirely authentic to our process and our journey towards loving ourselves. A reality where we can Shine Shame Free. A reality where we can Struggle Shame Free too. Would someone else's Shine have such an adverse effect on us if we weren't ashamed by our struggle? Ultimately it is up to us. Individually. And Together. Loving ourselves and each other all the way.
This journey with Pleasure is about inspiring change on a cellular level through a commitment to noticing and embodying Pleasure in Life. It is about inspiring others to dive in and notice the Little Intimate Ecstasies that surround us daily. Its about creating new awareness in our lives. It is about opening, surrendering and being. It is about loving ourselves intimately through it all. It is about really creating habits that support our love for ourselves, so we can move in the world from a place of overflowing love. It is about you. It is about me. It is about ALL of us. Ultimately is is about Love.
Lets do it, beautiful people! As Nahko and Medicine for the People say... 'We are the ones we've been waiting for'.
Loving you ALL, Ridiculously Beautiful Souls!
The Pleasure Diaries #10
One of My Greatest Loves... Music
Today was simple... Today my Greatest Pleasure was all about one of my Great Loves... Music
... It was about sitting on my bed with a Dear Friend, relaxed and languid in the Bali warmth, listening to the lyrical sounds of Incredible Piano Pieces
... It was about watching where the music lifts me up, where it suspends me momentarily, where it drops me in and how deep
... It was about the places in my body that the music activates and opens and as always, a delight in this awareness
... It was about the roadmap inside my soul and the soundscapes that illuminate new pathways
... It was about the Pauses and the Emphasis and how they carry such an Exquisite Subtle Language
... It was about the Energy of Emotion shared through vibration and sound from the Musician to the Listener
... It was about the Pleasure of Friendship, Shared Passion and Ease
... It was about Gifts Shared and Honoured
... It was about Wonder
... It was about Relaxation
And it was about Love, always Love....
Loving you all, beautiful ones!
The Pleasure Diaries #11
Weeping Willow Comes to Town
Today is the day in the Dance of the Feminine Luna, where the Little Gremlin is replaced by Weeping Willow. Weeping Willow is such a sweet creature. She is so fragile and vulnerable that sometimes she doesn't even know how to walk down the street without someone holding her hand.
Everything feels HUGE to Weeping Willow. Everything overflows - both the pain and the pleasure. And both bring her to her knees with emotion, constantly. Everything is FELT so acutely. Tears flow unexpectedly, then stop just as quickly. There is no Plug.
Sometimes I feel so challenged by Weeping Willow! Sometimes I just wish she would pull her fucking shit together. I watch My Old Paradigm Judgements about 'weak women' raising their ugly head to try and annihilate her. I have to have stern words with Them... Every Month... telling about them my new found understanding about the Power of Vulnerability aka Brené Brown stylings... And they just roll their eyes at me... Every Month. But They are Me and I am Them... so it gets a bit confusing.
I find myself retreating from The World when Weeping Willow comes along. I don't have the capacity to Hold My Shit Together. And I don't want anyone to have to 'deal' with her. But at the same time, all I REALLY want, is for someone to cuddle both of us and tell us it is all going to be ok.
How do we learn to love all of these aspects of ourselves - all of the characters inside us? How do we find peace with our human-ness, our 'flaws'? Perhaps our 'flaws' are just unintegrated aspects of self... Perhaps they are just places where self-judgement still sits.
So again we come back to Self Love. How can I love myself through this? Through ALL of it? How can I love myself the way I would love you?
The deepest pleasure from today was the profound cracking open of my heart, when the young Balinese boy who gave me a ride home felt my tenderness. He saw the tears welling Willow Style in my eyes as I asked for a ride home but asked nothing, tenderly giving the welling space. And then gently, when he dropped me off, he said 'is everything ok?'. The depth of genuine human love was so palpable. His soft heart was truly loving mine in all its tenderness. It was so beautiful. The power of the human heart never ceases to amaze me. The power of love, the same.
So from this place, where Willow is Weeping softly with Love, I love you all.
The Pleasure Diaries #12
Desire, Dare to Take Me
This week was all about the Soft transition into Sweetness of Self and the Gentle Opening Pleasure that sits inside such a transition.
I have spent so many years seeking Smoother Waters - searching for Continuity of The Happy-ies - and am starting to understand that life is Just a Bit Topsy Turvy sometimes and that that's actually perfect. I feel like I am Finally coming to terms with the Ocean of Life, through all of it's wonder and discomfort and that, as the Yogis say, flowing like a reed in water will ease the currents motion.
Exhale. Relax. Surrender. Unfold.
The Pleasures of this week cross many Shades of Love...
- The Sweetness of Humanity shown through a little Balinese Girl, grubby faced and covered in fruit remnants, who joyfully reached up both arms with such excitement, as she emphatically realised she needed a hug
- The sand in my Toes. Sand in my Toes. Sand In My TOES!
- The Oceanic Wonderland of Gili Air - Crystal Clear Turquoise Waterscapes rhythmically lapping the shore
- The Soft Energy of This Land and it's gentle persuasion into Surrender and Being
- The Ecstatic Lines of Energy in My Body - delighting in these Pleasure Pathways through Intimacy of Awareness and Soft Opening
- Deep Gratitude for this Vessel I inhabit and how she holds me so sweetly in this world
- The Grace and it's motion through Life's Unfoldings - always Illuminating a Pathway, even if I cant see where it is taking me
- Fellow Humans and our collective journey deeper into the Heart
Sweetness in Self - that is SUCH a pleasure to inhabit.
A week on an Island PARADISE is bound to call a lady into the Luscious of her Body and the Love in her Being! Thank you Gili Air - you are seriously special.
Loving you ALLLLLLL